An apology for my poor attitude and Praises out the Wazoo

is wazoo really a word anyways??

First a bit of an explanation for yesterday's post...

I was feeding him between four and five Wednesday afternoon and the nurse practitioner came by and said that we would be rooming in Wednesday night and going home Thursday night. I was so excited, we ran home and got the car seat, clothing for him to have his picture taken in, etc. I just couldn’t believe our journey in the NICU had finally come to a close and to boot one of the nurses we love was on duty on Thursday so she would be able to see us off. We were so stoked.

When we came in at 8 to feed him again I peeked in his room and they were bagging him, I just stopped, I couldn’t function. It’s scary when you’re child is bagged however that coupled with the immense disappointment I had when I realized we weren’t going home…just led to immense tears. I cried the entire time I nursed him at 8 and then went back to feed him at midnight.

I just wish they’d never said we would room in Thursday night and go home Friday, it just sorta knocked the wind out of my sails. Apparently they’re finding that he’s desatting with bottle feeds which we haven’t done but twice a day the last little bit because we’ve been nursing and he’s been doing great. So in discussion yesterday with Jeanne (as she's back) it was decided that Tennyson would be put back on oxygen and we would be taking home the oxygen and monitors (which we expected all along).

Now that I've had some time to reflect on the entire situation and to get over the emotions I am so glad we're still in the NICU, had we been at home, the stimulation techniques did not work and we would not have had the oxygen and therefore would not have been able to assist him in that way. That being said we would have had to call 911 and we don't live near an ambulance bay so it is hard to say how much irreprible damage would have been done to our little boy had we gone home. I can't thank the Lord enough that we were still in the NICU and that we will have the oxygen and monitors along with home health visits frequently that first month.

So now for how he's doing...since that episode he's been doing great, they were only putting the oxygen on him for feeds however it's hard when you get them home to only use it in that fashion as it's so upsetting to the little ones to have to tape it on and then take it off, etc. so it's a permanent fixture for us for a while.

So my apologies for having such a poor and emotionally overdriven post yesterday, I was having a rough day but that's not fair to make it sound like my world is ending...it was just crashing down a bit!! :)

He weighed in last night at 5lbs. 12.5 ounces, again an increase (we're almost back to where we were a few days ago) and he hasn't had an episode since he went to the oxygen at 3pm yesterday afternoon.

Travis and I will be receiving our oxygen and monitor training this evening and then we will be waiting until he gets to come home, there is discussion that if he remains episode free it will be sometime next week. What a great Thanksgiving this will be...

Anyways sorry for such a poor attitude yesterday, the emotions at time wear you out, but above all the emotions I am so thankful to the Lord that Tennyson is ours, is perfect and is beautiful.

Thank you for all your prayers and the time you give us, you don't know how much it means to us and how thankful we are for each of you.

Love you all...

Praising our Protector-
Travis, Lindsay & Tennyson Myers